I was right, and what made it funny (ironic) was the one person who doesn’t want to hear about it (me) was the only person who attended the group today - none of the other mums in the group showed up.

Thankfully over the years since I first started researching the pros & cons of vaccination when my daughter Isabella got sick in March 2002 (I am definitely on the anti-vaccine side), I have become much more tempered in my reactions and interactions with others who promote vaccinations. So the discussion today with the council vaccination nurse was interesting and thankfully she didn’t try to convert me to her way of thinking and I didn’t try to convert her to mine.

This was a good learning opportunity for me today. When I first started researching the adverse effects of vaccinations, I know I alienated a lot of people with my forceful stance on vaccination and I gained an intense distaste for doctors and the orthodox medical system in general. Over the years I have continued doing research into this area alongside my studies in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). I think the training I did in NLP and human behaviour helped me enormously to learn when and where it was appropriate for me to share my information. I also realised that a persons’ beliefs about a particular area will determine what information they will and wont listen to. When I was first told about the link between vaccinations and seizures (after Isabella had her first seizure) it didn’t take much to convince me about the dangers of vaccines - I already had a preference for alternate healthcare & and a distaste for doctors. This new information just cemented that in for me and confirmed my belief about the orthodox medical system and it’s inadequacies. On the other hand, members of my husbands family and members of the first mothers group I belonged to, had different beliefs to me and they didn’t believe and didn’t want to hear what I had to say about the dangers of vaccination.

There was a time when I thought everyone needed to hear this information, but I soon realised that not everyone wanted to listen & me shoving it down their throats just didn’t work. Everyone is on their own path and will experience whatever it is they need to experience. If they are meant to find information then it will come to them. So now the pendulum has swung to both extremes - me being overly evangelical to me not speaking to people at all, almost the to the point of hiding away - it has now come to a gentle rest in the middle. That’s not to say I’m sitting on the fence about this - I definitely have a strong, informed opinion about this area of vaccination - it’s just now I am more attuned to who wants to hear the information and who doesn’t and I share it appropriately.

My belief is that the other mothers in this new group I belong to weren’t in a place to hear this information today and as such, for some reason or another, didn’t come to the group today. Interesting.

Helena

The other thing I noticed today was about timing feedings. Over the years there have been different points of view on how often babies should be fed (regardless of whether they are breast or bottle fed - that’s a whole other issue). The two that I hear most often are 4 hourly feedings or “on demand”. (I wonder who decided that 4 hours was an appropriate period of time between feeds - do adults have such regimented eating schedules?)

Anyway, today one of the babies in the group was quite unhappy and not settling, and the maternal child health nurse suggested that the mum feed the baby again (even though the baby had only recently fed from one side). It worked - the baby latched on quickly and fed and became contented again (for a while at least).

I understand that there need to be educational guidelines for new mums (and dads), but I really wish that was more encouragement for new mothers to trust their own instincts when it comes to their babies. And this encouragement needs to span all areas associated with child rearing. 

The beauty of a baby is that they wont eat if they’re not hungry (unlike adults that will eat for a variety of reasons not associated with physiological hunger). Even if the baby does latch on to the breast, if it’s just for comfort then they will suck a little and then detach because they got what they needed - closeness to their mother. Timing feeding also seems a little strange - when babies are brand new, they haven’t quite got the hang of feeding yet and they need time to strengthen those little jaw muscles, so feeding takes longer than it does in later months. Why “clock watch” and feel that you have to detach them after some arbitrary period of time to change to the other side? The Australian Breastfeeding Association has a great book called “Breastfeeding Naturally”  - well worth the read to fill your with confidence about listening to your instincts when it comes to feeding your baby.

Personally, I think I can give myself a pat on the back because Daniel is growing beautifully (7.22kg  & 65cm long at his 3 month health check today). And all I’ve been doing is watching for his cues & feeding on demand for however long he feels he needs to feed for. It’s quite simple really - at least it is right now, and as he changes, then I will do my best to change to meet his needs.

Helena

Daniel will be three months old this Friday (22 Aug 2008) and even though I don’t consider myself a new Mum, I have joined the New Parents Group at my local Maternal Child Health Centre to have some contact with other Mums & babies. Today was session number 3 of 6 - the discussion was about play time with babies. We watched a video created by the Gymbaroo group that showed babies of varying ages and different types of play and activities that can be done to stimulate various developmental aspects of a babies growth.

It seems to be the done thing to attend various external activities from an early age whether it be Gymbaroo or swimming lessons or Mini Mozart groups. 

I wonder though, how necessary these “extra curricular” activities really are. I admit, I did take Isabella to a few Gymbaroo classes when she was about 4 or 5 months old - she didn’t really like it & I felt uncomfortable. But I thought it was something I had to do.

The first thing that came to mind was, what did babies do before Gymbaroo was invented? Gymbaroo wasn’t around when Warren or I were babies and I think we function pretty well physically. Is the attendance of external developmental activities the way a busy parent appeases their guilt for not spending enough time with their baby? To me it seems like just another way to try and make our children into over-achievers and make parents feel like they’re bad parents if they don’t take their babies to these activities.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do these things with your baby, just don’t feel like you have to or that you’re a bad parent if you don’t. There are plenty of great things you can do with your baby at home, it just takes a bit of imagination and the desire to spend time with your baby and help them grow.

Helena

I’ve noticed sometimes when Daniel is sleeping, his eyelids aren’t completely closed. Last night while he was asleep on my lap, his eyelids were partly opened so I gently opened one of his eyes (he was in a very deep sleep because he didn’t even twitch). Because of the position he was sleeping in, he was looking directly at me, but did he see me?

If you know the answer, let me know.

Helena

I must admit, it felt a little weird having someone upstairs in my office filing my paperwork that has piled up over the last 3 months since Daniel was born while I sat on the couch feeding Daniel and writing blog posts for D-Zyne Web. I’m perfectly capable of doing everything that my PA will be doing - it’s more a time thing.

Yes, we each have the same amount of time each day available to us, and it’s the areas that are most important to us that will determine where we spend that time.

For me, Daniel and Warren are my number one - which means spending time with them at home & traveling, preparing & cooking great meals for us (I’ve got a great kitchen in the new place we’ve moved into, so cooking is becoming fun again) among other things. Following on from that is time spent on our businesses to get them to a point where we earn more from them than what Warren currently earns from his IT consulting.

At the bottom of the list are things like cleaning the house (my PA is finding me a new cleaner) and general administration of home and business paperwork. Me doing them doesn’t move me closer to my personal and business goals, so it makes sense to get someone else to assist me in those areas.

I’m sure that as I get more comfortable having someone working for me, I’ll be delegating more to her.

Next step - a bookkeeper - I’ll let you know how that goes.

Helena

After a walk to the park with my sister Natalie & my 4 yr old niece Bianca, Daniel fell asleep in the pram on the walk home. After Natalie left to take Bianca to her ballet class, I was faced with a tough choice - doing some housework, or take some time our for myself & meditate.

I chose the meditation and after 2 false starts (Daniel started to wake & required some jiggling in the pram) I finally got my 30 minutes of meditation (and a little nap afterwards which was a bonus).

I learnt Primordial Sound Meditation over 3 years ago. I’ve been very erratic in my practice - as much as I logically knew it was beneficial, I always felt like I had more important things to do (looking back, I don’t really know what).

So now seems like as good a time as any, with all my previous distractions stripped away & Daniel being my main focus, to get back into a regular practice. I don’t think regular will mean every day at this stage, I’ll build up to that. I’m adding it to the “regular” walking I’m doing (if only the cold, rainy Melbourne weather would be more obliging).

Helena

Daniel will be 3 months old in a few weeks - this time has disappeared in a blur of little sleep and a lot of sitting on the couch breast-feeding or holding Daniel while he slept.

The night-time sleeping is improving so I feel more human now and able to think a little more clearly again. Thank goodness, because I’m not overly pleasant when I’m tired and I don’t get much done either.

Because we’ve chosen to loosely follow Attachment Parenting principles, there is no forcing Daniel to sleep on his own and enduring controlled crying, no strict 4 hourly feedings - instead, when Daniel wants to eat, I feed him, for the amount of time he wants to feed (& he’s becoming more efficient) and when he falls asleep on my lap, I’m happy to sit there with him while he sleeps - he wont do this forever & I want to enjoy this close time with him while I can - and he is so beautiful, and smiling and “talking” - a real little treasure.

During my pregnancy, I pretty much stopped all income producing activity - due to a combination of morning sickness in the first part and then pelvic instability for the remainder, which meant no extended periods of sitting, limited walking & a lot of resting.

It was great not having to work - I think I had been filling my time with a lot of activities but not participating in something I was really passionate about. And it’s easier to see this now that I’m not in the middle of it.

Now I that I don’t have to do anything in particular, I can choose what it is I would really like to do (in terms of earning money).

So many things to choose from, but what I am realising is that going back to being an employee or a contractor isn’t going to work for me. Because there is only one of me, trading my time for earning money would mean being away from Daniel and I want to spend time with him and Warren (my husband) rather than in a job.

I have 3 choices where I can leverage my time (effectively duplicating myself, because actual cloning isn’t an option ) each with it’s pros and cons:

• Share trading
• Investing in property
• Starting a business

For a variety of reasons, I’ve chosen option number 3, starting a business, but not a traditional business, instead it’s a franchise that has low startup capital requirement and I can do it from home.

None of these three choices has the time leveraging available straight away, but starting a business, especially the business I have chosen, allows me to get started with a small amount of capital, and build it to a point where it replaces the income I was earning before I got pregnant, which will effectively extend my maternity leave.

And the beauty of sharing it here, is that I am keeping myself accountable and hopefully on track to achieving my first goal.

Helena

So far we’ve fixed up sticky eyes, a snuffly nose and a little cough. Today’s visit was to address some scalp flakiness, blotchy cheeks & a bit of dry skin on his arms.

(If you’re not familiar with Homeopathy, you can search on google or read this article I came across recently “The Truth about Homeopathy”).

I asked Anthony if he thought I was being a little “anal” (having brought Daniel in for 3 appointments in his short 11 week life), thankfully he said no. Daniel is so beautiful and happy (and healthy) that I really want to keep him that way, and stay abreast of any niggles that come up.

I know you’ll read in the baby books about what’s normal for babies during their various developmental stages, but I question this concept of “normal”. Who says what is normal? Is normal what we’ve come to expect over time as a reflection of overall deteriorating health? For example, are numerous colds normal in the first year of a baby’s life, or is it that their immune system has been compromised by the introduction of foreign materials via vaccinations.

It seems strange that the World Health Organisation recommends that babies be purely breast-fed in the first six months of life (that means, no solids or any other liquids, except formula if you can’t breast-feed), to prevent the possibility of allergies later in life, yet they are also quite happy to recommend the injection of a variety of toxic, foreign substances into babies as young as 3 days old.

Read “10 reasons why parents question vaccination” from the Australian Vaccination Network website, to learn more about vaccinations.

You might think that there are very compelling reasons to vaccinate - various studies and statistics that seem very convincing. Unfortunately statistics can be skewed in both directions and sometimes as a parent it’s hard to know who is telling the truth. I have been reading about vaccinations for over six years now and just recently came across another great website that actually breaks down the studies and statistics to show you what’s truthful and what isn’t. You can visit Inside Vaccines and see for yourself.

Happy reading

Helena

I watched it three times before posting it here and all three times I saw it moving anti-clockwise & in the first & third time it changed to clockwise part way through.

What do you see?

Helena

It took me a week after Daniel was born before I even opened up my computer to check my emails - I just had no desire to know what was happening in my cyber world - very strange considering before Daniel, checking my email was close to the first thing I did every morning.

Over the last month I’ve learnt how to type short emails with one hand while I’m feeding my baby - as for longer emails or writing on my blog, that’s been a little out of my reach. Even now, Warren is asleep on the couch with baby Daniel & it was a toss up for me between going to bed myself, or finally getting back in to writing. Over the last month I’ve been successful only on about 3 occasions to actually get a little solitary sleep time - usually as soon as I lie down, Daniel would wake up ready for his next feed.
I’m learning flexibility although it is a little frustrating when I do try to follow the common advice of sleeping when the baby sleeps. I tried it 3 times today - I’d feed him, he’d fall asleep in my arms, I’d gently lie down on the sofa with him in the crook of my arm (I have a big sofa) & five minutes later he is fussing and awake - as I said, I’m learning flexibility. I wish I could have some way of knowing which of his sleeps are going to be long (2-4 hours) and which ones will be short (don’t even bother trying to lie down and sleep as well).

Now that I’m back into the writing, I think this blog is going to change direction a little, now that my gorgeous little boy is my main focus. I think the title “Sunshine, Natural Immunity and Real Food” will still fit, but it will be in the context of mums and babies and their health - something I’ve been passionate about, but didn’t quite feel like it was time for me to speak too much about it. Well that has changed now & I’ll be sharing my opinions a little more strongly from here on.

Helena